First and Last
by Plesiosaur
Summary: Real world Bubbline request fic. Bonnie only went to her high school reunion for the slim chance that Marceline would be there but after eighteen years of silence she doesn't hold out much hope. Perhaps second chances aren't as rare as she thinks and a first love might also be the last.
1. Chapter 1

**This was an interesting request fic to write as much because of the subject matter as because of the fact it snowballed into (at least) three chapters. The gorgeous Alquimiaverde requested some real world AU Bubbline with a twist; middle aged Bubbline. So here we are with a forty year old Bonnie and Marcy. It's a wonderful concept because as they so rightly pointed out, there's not many stories featuring older women and it's a nice change of pace to set a romance around the middle years of a character's life.**

 **There's an OC and a sort-of-OC but sort of not. That's all I will say on the subject right now, but I think you'll like them (I hope). More info about them in the next chapter.**

 **Content Warnings: implied hetero sexing by means of biology. Off screen minor character death, feels. Fuzzy warnings for the urge to go hug your mother.**

* * *

Bonnie downed her fourth plastic cup of fruit punch and wished for the thousandth time that someone had been thoughtful enough to spike it. But no, the drink was completely free of alcohol or anything else that might make her social anxiety just a touch easier to manage. She tried not to crane her neck again and scan the faces surrounding her but it was almost impossible not to keep looking. She'd be there, wouldn't she? She wouldn't miss an opportunity like this.

But the crowd of people standing laughing and joking in their old school library did not contain a head topped with a silky mass of waist length black hair or a voice like the spring thaw in full flow. There was no smooth caramel skin or delicious smile wicked enough to make an angel blush. Defeated, Bonnie grabbed another cup of punch and stared down into its sugary depths. Why had she bothered coming to their high school reunion? There was nobody there she was desperate to catch up with, it wasn't like the last twenty five years of her life since she'd been a student there were worth bragging about. She'd kept in touch with Lady at least, the tall Korean woman had married her high school sweetheart Jake right out of college and their eldest son had recently won a prestigious scholarship; he was off to study economics at Yale in the US. Bonnie was distantly glad for him. Kim seemed like a boy who was really going places although she hadn't seen him in years. He and Bonnie's daughter were the same age and had played together when they were much younger, before Lady had moved the whole family to the other side of the country for work.

"Bonnibel Sugar, lurking around in the classics section like always. You've not changed a bit."

The voice was straight out of her memories but it wasn't the one she'd been aching to hear all night. Still, she turned and spared a hug for the tall, balding man with the infectious grin and boyish sparkle still in his blue eyes.

"Finn. Well look at you, all grown up! God, it's been twenty years!" she replied with a smile that wasn't completely faked.

"I could say the same. When did you cut your hair? No ring on that finger still, I'd never have you pegged as the living alone type." he replied with a smile that wasn't entirely just friendly. Bonnie groaned internally; twenty years and the man still couldn't take a hint.

"Divorced, actually. The paperwork only came through recently but we've been living apart since our son was small." she sighed. And she knew exactly what his next question would be because as lovely as he was Finn Mertens had always been a pretty two-dimensional guy.

"Oh. So, no boyfriend on the horizon?"

More than twenty years. And he was still just as predictable as ever.

"No. No boyfriend. No girlfriend either, although I've come to accept that that would be my preference. Finn, I'm gay." she told him gently. The blonde man's eyes widened.

"Oh. Oh! Right, so did you have the kids with, uh, a woman, or...?"

"The short version? I met a guy, my parents liked him and I thought that would be enough because I hadn't realised then why it all felt so distant and vague. I guess I just thought there was something a bit broken about me. I got pregnant and dropped out of my PhD programme to get married and raise our daughter. We had a son after that and the relationship turned bad pretty much immediately afterwards. He was always either working or expecting me to cook and clean for him and I was already essentially a single mother only it felt like I had two small children and one sulky teenager who'd previously been a husband. I asked him to move out and we've been separated for more than ten years. He only agreed to the divorce now because he finally met someone although he pushed her away pretty quickly after she got to know him a little better. At least I got his signature on the paperwork finally, I thanked her for that. I have a daughter who's almost eighteen, Penelope, and Zak is fifteen. I'm back at university and I should be graduating from my PhD next year. How about you? Fill me in on the last twenty something years." Bonnie finished with a slightly strained smile. She hated going over the same old ground every time she met an acquaintance because it felt so much like admitting to everyone that she was a huge failure.

"Umm, lemme see. I graduated uni and went into teaching, I've got a twelve year old son who lives with his mother, also divorced and just... I dunno, back on the market I guess. Same thing, she was sick of me working and the arguments got pretty heated, she always had a fiery temper. It works better this way. I miss my kid though, he's a great little guy. Are your two more like you then or their useless father?" Finn added with a frown.

"I'd like to hope they're both like me. Penny's got a sassy streak a mile wide, no idea where that comes from. And Zak is almost scarily focused sometimes, he's definitely gonna move mountains one day. I'm so proud of them both." Bonnie replied with an internal sigh of relief. She could talk about her children all night, it was easy and safe and-

"So have you seen Marceline?"

-the exact opposite of what she wanted him to ask next.

"Not since my twelve week scan when I was having Penny. Her career took off and we lost touch." Bonnie replied quietly. That was the heavily edited version but there was no way she was telling Finn about the other things that had happened that night and the other reasons Marceline had disappeared into the wilderness. "I imagine she's in some penthouse in New York snorting coke off the chest of some gorgeous toy boy the same age as my daughter by now."

"She said she'd be here on the Facebook group page." Finn frowned. "Said she was moving back to take a job in radio. I don't think the punk thing ever worked out as well as she was hoping."

"I don't use Facebook." Bonnie murmured. She was desperate for her old friend to go away and talk to someone else. It was torture standing there chatting about her high school best friend and former crush to the guy who'd been so determined to get into her pants when he was sixteen that he'd dedicated the same song to her every weekend for weeks on the school radio because she'd mentioned one time that she liked that song. What she hadn't told Finn at the time was that she liked it because she'd heard Marceline practicing it and had been captivated by her voice.

"Finn! Oh my God, imagine seeing you again!"

It was Lydia, the former school gossip and stealer of many a boy's virginity back in the day. Looked like she'd become a full-grown cougar now. Bonnie stepped back into the gloom between two library stacks when the curvy woman bore down on Finn, she wasn't keen to get into a conversation with Lydia.

"Looks sorta like a deer in the headlights, doesn't he?" murmured a soft voice in Bonnie's ear. She froze, heart almost stopping dead in her chest.

"I waited by the gates for ages, can't believe you came in without me. We _always_ wait at the gates for each other. Jesus, Bonnie, how could you forget that? Rude." the voice continued.

It was like slow motion, like her body just took itself completely outside of her control and spun her around, propelled her forwards and made her cling on like she'd never let go. One second she was standing perfectly still trying to remember how to breathe and the next she was in her high school best friend's arms, face pressed against hair that was still impossibly soft and fell in a long wild cascade over one shoulder. The scent of expensive strawberry perfume and the wild rainy night outside hung around her and Bonnie couldn't quite remember when she last felt like her legs would give way from the simple act of being close to another human being.

"Marcy. Oh, you came." she breathed.

"Gently, nerd. I need to breathe." the taller woman replied softly, though she was holding Bonnie every bit as tightly as the redhead was embracing her.

"You amazing _bastard_ , where have you been? I tried to call but you changed your number? And nobody had your new address. You missed the baby coming." Bonnie said, pulling back to examine her old friend's face minutely. It still hurt, an ancient twist of pain in the middle of her guts whenever she remembered that Marceline had just left without a word. Bonnie had thought it was long ago forgotten but it had apparently just been quietly waiting in a neglected corner of her heart ready to spring out unexpectedly and cause another jolt of anguish when she was least expecting it.

"It all kicked off with the band and we went on tour, like it was a 'go tonight or miss your chance' sorta deal. I came by your place when I got back but _he_ said you were out with the baby and you didn't have time for your friends who actually treated you like a friend so you definitely didn't have time for a deadbeat like me. I got the message, you were going different places to me and I wasn't welcome. Um, you didn't bring him along tonight, did you?" Marcy asked worriedly.

"Who, Braco? We've been separated for ten years. Everything fell apart after Zak was born. My son, he's fifteen now. I just couldn't keep pretending to be happy. It was either leave or- I don't know, it was a bad time. I could have used a friend." Bonnie added a little sourly. Once her excitement at seeing her old friend had faded a little she was right back to being hurt that Marceline had just vanished one day and left her to get on with her life without even saying goodbye.

"Fifteen years ago. I was in Berlin, living with some doofus named Ash who promised he was gonna make me a star. It never happened, obviously. I wasn't in a great place myself. Bon, I'm sorry. I thought you didn't wanna know me anymore, thought you were blissfully happy being a wife and mother. He said you didn't want to see me anymore. If I'd known..."

She lapsed into silence, running a hand distractedly through hair that Bonnie could tell even in the low light was beginning to silver a little with age. Marcy hadn't really changed at all, she was still intimidatingly tall and beautiful with amazing high cheekbones and hazel-green eyes that shone out of her face like she'd been blessed by some ancient forest goddess. Like an Amazon or a dryad or something. Bonnie was very aware that she'd never quite gotten rid of the baby weight from her last pregnancy and she'd just thrown on whatever sweater was cleanest, too busy yelling at Zak to move his school shoes from the middle of the kitchen floor and asking Penny where she'd left the hairdryer last time she'd borrowed it and not put it away after herself. Marceline looked like she'd been dressed by a team of professional stylists. For all Bonnie knew, she had been.

"Listen." Marcy started suddenly. "Do you wanna ditch these losers and go grab a bite to eat or something? Like old times. You were really the only one I wanted to see again anyway."

Bonnie considered. She'd suffered through a few awkward conversations with people she'd known a long time ago and she'd successfully deflected Finn's none-too-subtle advances. There was only so much social she could deal with in one evening and if she was honest it was really only the slim chance that Marceline might be there that had prompted her to come along that night. She cast a quick glance around the library to plan their escape.

"We've got Lydia charming her way back into Finn's pants in front of us, Jake and Lady holding court by the main entrance and that weirdo James Baxter by the punch table. I suggest we slip around the back of the stacks here and out the side door. Reckon it still leads out by the gym?" Bonnie murmured after a second's thought.

"Yeah, I came in that way. Didn't wanna get spotted and have to explain why I didn't have a greatest hits album already. This feels so naughty, like when I used to drag you out to keep watch for me when I was smoking behind the bike sheds." Marcy added with a grin.

"You still smoke?" Bonnie asked in quiet surprise as they moved off behind the stacks together.

"Nah, I quit. Lost my father to lung cancer a few years back and I didn't want to go the same way. That old devil was still smoking forty a day even when they put him on twenty four hour oxygen."

"I'm so sorry, it must have been awful for you." Bonnie murmured. She remembered Hunson Abadeer as a severe man, ramrod straight and the very definition of uptight, permanently dressed as though he was going to an interview with his bank manager. Marceline had fought almost constantly with him since the day she was born; Bonnie hoped they'd finally found some common ground at least before he'd passed away. She followed the taller woman as she slipped noiselessly through the side door and out into the dark corridor that lead off to the gym without a backward glance at the crowd of middle aged former acquaintances who'd made her feel so inferior earlier in the evening. Marceline was really the only one she'd come to see too.

"Do you want a lift?" Marcy asked quietly, a little shyly, when they stepped out into the windy car park at the side of the building. It was raining ever so slightly and the scent of damp Spring buds blowing from the horse chestnut trees on the school field was filling Bonnie with memories of walking arm in arm together along that very path on their way to lunch or field hockey, cracking jokes and loosening their school ties like the pair of rebels they thought they were. God, they'd been so young. So innocent. And now they were sneaking off like sad, middle aged spinsters desperate not to have the rest of their peers discover how badly their plans had worked out. It filled the redhead with a sort of nameless nostalgic longing for the days when everything had been so simple and easy, when they were so young and naive and the future was nothing but an exciting adventure filled with potential.

"I brought my car. But I guess it makes more sense to go in one and just pick it up after." Bonnie murmured, unable to express all those strange feelings that were filling her like a fog. Was there some regret in there too? Would she have done it differently if she'd know what the future held? But then she wouldn't have her two wonderful children, the very best things in her life. Bonnie followed Marceline to her car and just pushed those thoughts away. There was no point dwelling on it anyway, she couldn't change the past.

She stayed silent through the short drive to the nearest late-opening restaurant but stole plenty of furtive glances at Marceline out of the corner of her eye as the other woman drove. It felt like just yesterday that her best friend had disappeared out of her life for good, since Bonnie had screwed everything up so badly and pushed her away. How could she even begin to forgive herself after so many years of silence? How could Marcy stand to just sit quietly with her like Bonnie wasn't the biggest disappointment in both of their lives? But Marceline just hummed quietly to herself as she drove, seemingly perfectly at ease. Bonnie couldn't quite get her head around it, it was like one of those regret-filled dreams she had where Marcy was still in her life and she hadn't messed everything up.

"Right, this is my treat. Part of my severance deal with the record label was a row of big juicy zeros in my bank account. So what do you fancy? You can have absolutely anything you want." Marcy told her as they slid into a booth together. Bonnie tried hard not to interpret that as being about anything except food; it had just been far too long since she'd spent time around an attractive woman, she told herself sternly.

They chatted about inconsequential stuff over dinner, avoiding any topics like what had happened just before Marcy disappeared or the why's and how's about Bonnie's marriage and divorce. Then out of the blue, Marcy sighed a little and said;

"You know that night you kissed me, I wasn't sure if it was just you being full of baby hormones or if you really meant it. And it messed me up, Bon. I went away and thought about it because what do you do when your engaged and pregnant best friend grabs you and makes out with you out of the blue? I figured I'd just carry on like nothing had happened when I came back, except you didn't wanna see me. But then I heard you do the stuttering coming out to Finn tonight and it made me wonder if perhaps it was more than just... I dunno, a phase or something? Experimentation?"

Bonnie froze again, this time with her fork halfway to her mouth. She hadn't spoken to anyone about that night, not ever. Not even the occasional and very brief ex-girlfriend. A number of women had tried and failed to come up to the impossible standard in Bonnie's head over the last ten years and the reason why it had never worked out was sitting opposite giving her a searching look with eyes so intense it felt like she was reading the answer right out of Bonnie's mind.

"I don't know. Honestly, Marcy I was so messed up back then. I was full of hormones and Braco had just proposed and I didn't know what I was doing. It felt like I was drifting away from you and I didn't love him but I didn't understand why it wasn't working. Everything with him just felt so robotic. Can we just chalk the whole thing up to experience and move on? It was eighteen years ago, we're both different people now." she finally mumbled. It wasn't quite what she wanted to say but 'I've been in love with you since we were eleven years old and when I kissed you it was because my life had gotten so overwhelming I couldn't hold it back anymore and then you just walked away and I thought you hated me for complicating everything' wasn't something Bonnie felt equal to admitting. But perhaps Marceline could see that in her thoughts anyway, because she just nodded like she'd heard all the words the other woman hadn't said.

"How do you feel about boats?" she asked instead. Typical Marcy; change the subject abruptly and with absolutely no warning. Bonnie had always had to stay on her toes to keep up, she'd missed it. And she'd have welcomed almost any change of topic right then so she pounced on it eagerly.

"I like them? I suppose, I mean not big ferries or cruise ships or anything. But Braco's parents have a small sail boat and we used to take the kids sailing for the weekend when they were little. Zak loved it; I think that's where the lifelong obsession with pirates comes from." Bonnie replied carefully.

"Cool. Cause I commissioned a houseboat and I want you to come to the moving in party. I'm having it sailed over when they finish fitting it out and it's gonna be put to anchor in the harbour here. I took a job with a radio station doing their afternoon slot and I decided to move back home. Got sick of all that touring and rehearsing and everything. I mean, hell, I'm forty this year. If I haven't made my big break by now it just isn't gonna happen. Time to face facts; I was a one hit wonder and if I don't start doing something else soon then the money I have saved from that one popular song I wrote isn't gonna last until I'm pension age. Besides, this is a good gig. It's good money, easy work, I get to chill and listen to cool music. My first slot airs in a couple of weeks and I thought I'd try to have a little get together on HMS Treehouse before then." Marcy grinned.

"You can't call a boat Treehouse." Bonnie replied with a frown. Where else could she even start? All of that was so incredibly solid gold Marceline, so eccentric and unexpected. Of course she was going to be a radio host and live in a boat named Treehouse. If anyone was going to live like that it would of course be the mercurial swirl of contradictions that was Marcy.

"Sure I can. I already have. I smashed a bottle of champagne on it and said 'I name this ship Treehouse' and everything." Marcy shrugged with a small smirk. "Anyway the party's next weekend, I thought you might wanna come along, Y'know, if you can get a sitter."

"Penny's eighteen in a couple of weeks, she doesn't need a sitter. And Zak will be at his father's place next weekend." Bonnie said, electing to ignore Marceline's gentle teasing.

"Brilliant. So am I putting you down as a plus one?" Marcy asked brightly. It was more subtle than Finn had been but Bonnie wasn't stupid, she knew when someone was fishing for information.

"Wow, smooth. No, you are putting me down as extremely single. I have two teenagers at home, I'm finally finishing my theoretical physics PhD and I work full time too. I don't have a spare second to breathe let alone date anyone." Bonnie mumbled around the blush that was trying to push its way onto her cheeks. Dammit, how did Marceline always know how to get under her skin? It had been a gap of almost eighteen years and Bonnie still wanted to giggle and blush like a schoolgirl when Marceline flashed that wicked sexy smile at her and fluttered her eyelashes.

They left the restaurant together and the tension in the air between them was so high Bonnie was distantly surprised the raindrops didn't fizz and sizzle. Marceline drove her back to the school and dropped her off without getting out of her car; Bonnie watched her pull away with a strange churning in her chest that she didn't want to name. It might have been longing or regret, she thought as she drove home. Or it might be loneliness, the same aching loneliness that had never completely left when she'd called her best friend only to discover that her number was disconnected eighteen years earlier. Whatever it was by the time Bonnie lay down to sleep that night after checking on her children and writing a little more of her thesis it hadn't completely gone away yet.


	2. Chapter 2

**Oh you guyssssss, you are the sweetest! I've had some absolutely lovely feedback on this fic, I'm so glad people like it! I know I owe you the last chapter of Another Day and I will attempt to finish it asap, I've just already finished this chapter and had it declared fit for purpose by my gorgeous proofies and thought why wait?**

 **As ever love and kisses to the inestimable Alquimiaverde for the prompt for this fic, it's been a real pleasure to write.**

 **Quick note on this chapter, if you don't know who The Cure are I suggest looking up Love Song at the very least because it's awesome and emotional and lovely and also mentioned quite heavily here. I included the lyrics to the chorus so you can skip listening to it if you really want but I do think you should listen to it just because it rocks. Also yes Zak is an OC, but he's a sweetie, right? And Penelope is sorta canon, she's an adventurer from the distant future in the comics with grey skin and dark pink hair and Finn's hat. Coincidence? I think not.**

 **Content Warning: awkward abuse of nautical terminology, song lyrics, not graphic but not particularly enjoyable descriptions of hetero sex, embarrassing kids.**

* * *

"ZAK! HURRY UP!" Bonnie yelled up the stairs in frustration. Trust her boy to be slow and forgetful on the one night she had somewhere to be.

"I CAN'T FIND MY BAG!" he yelled back.

"IT'S DOWN- oh sorry, Zak. It's down here with your football kit, now come on, you're gonna be late." Bonnie told him as his tousled rusty head appeared around the corner of the staircase. Zak sighed and sloped down the stairs to her, gangly teenage limbs almost flopping as he walked.

"It's just stupid football practice, Mum. And I don't even wanna go." he moaned as he came to a stop in front of her and Bonnie straightened his shirt collar by habit.

"You'll enjoy it once you get there, honey. Besides, if you had your way you'd stay in your room all the time and never move and that isn't healthy." she replied gently. She almost had to lift her head to look him in the eyes now, he was only a little shorter than her.

"Why doesn't Penny have to do a sport?" Zak whined, shrugging his mother's hand off his collar.

"Because I actually exercise, dweeb!" his sister called through from the kitchen.

"Penny, be nice." Bonnie warned. Penelope sighed and came through into the hall too. She looked more like her father, shaggy brown hair and soft features. And she was so laid back it sometimes drove Bonnie crazy; Penny was the sort of girl who could happily dream her life away if nobody prodded her in the right direction. Still, she did exercise at least. She went to the gym three times a week and loved going dancing with her school friends. Zak was too focused on video games and studying to leave the house unless his mother nagged him about it. They all trooped out into the car together, Zak almost sprinting to get into the front passenger seat and turning to grin smugly at his sister in the back. She just rolled her eyes at him and sighed again.

"You're going to your Dad's after football, remember? Bonnie told her son as she drove through the evening traffic.

"I know." he replied with a huff in his voice.

"And Penny's spending the night at Luisa's place." Bonnie continued. "So there won't be anyone home until I get back from the party. Did you bring your father's birthday card?"

"I dunno." Zak shrugged.

"Zak, honestly. Well I've got my phone so just call if you need me, but your father will be expecting you." she replied with a sigh. Zak just shrugged again; more and more he disliked spending time with Braco these days and Bonnie knew it was because her ex-husband just couldn't keep his unfavourable opinions of her to himself. She was careful never to say a negative word about him in front of the kids but apparently Braco had no such qualms about badmouthing her.

"Hey, Mum? Why are you wearing make up?" he asked after a thoughtful silence.

"Because I'm going to a nice party." Bonnie replied with a frown.

"Because Mum has a _hot date_." Penelope corrected her with a grin. "She met a woman at the school reunion last week and they haven't stopped texting each other since."

"She's an old friend and it's nice to catch up." Bonnie muttered, cheeks going slightly pink in embarrassment.

"Uhuh, Mum bought a pretty new dress and went to the hairdressers this afternoon." Penny added smugly.

"Because it's a fancy party! It's on a boat and there'll be a lot of professional musicians there! As much as you two seem to think otherwise my love life doesn't exist purely for your entertainment!" Bonnie replied crossly. She pulled up at Zak's school gates and he rolled out of the car reluctantly.

"Denial, Mum. I can see right through you. Have a good date." he told her through the open car window. She watched him slouch out of sight and off to the school football pitch while Penny got out and went around to the front passenger seat to take his place.

"It's just a nice party." Bonnie said a little pleadingly when she was back on the road with her daughter. Penny had already pulled her phone out of her pocket and nodded distractedly.

"Yeah, you keep saying. Well enjoy your nice party. Do you wanna do a girly date for my birthday, by the way?"

"Oh that sounds lovely, sweetheart. Manicures, cinema and a facial? I can get us dinner too, my treat." Bonnie smiled. She loved spending time with her daughter like that, the older Penny got the closer they were.

"Sounds cool. Oh hey, there's Luisa. Drop me here, please." Penny replied, leaning out of the window to holler at her friend.

"Bye sweetie, have a good night!" Bonnie called at her daughter's retreating back. Penelope waved over her shoulder, already howling with laughter about something Luisa had told her. They reminded Bonnie so much of herself and Marcy at that age, although probably without the simmering unresolved romantic tension that had finally boiled over into a heated make out session the same day she'd had her first scan when she'd unexpectedly fallen pregnant with Penny. And then Braco had come home and the spell was broken; they'd leaped away from each other like their lips were on fire a second before he walked in the room. Then Marcy had disappeared for eighteen long years. Bonnie shook the memories free from her head as she drove on; it was just a nice party. She'd put on make up and had her hair done because there were going to be a lot of glamorous people from the music industry there, that was all. Somehow recently all of her thoughts had returned to Marcy no matter what else she'd been trying to focus on and deep down Bonnie felt that she should probably be more worried about it than she was.

Marcy had called it a houseboat but it was more like a floating palace. Bonnie felt her jaw drop as she pulled around the winding slope that lead down to the harbour. Beneath her was a huge wooden ship complete with a tall mast and a pirate flag fluttering in the breeze. As she drew closer Bonnie could see that the rigging was strung with thousands of tiny fairy lights and the deck had been decorated with a wealth of overflowing planters and patio furniture like someone had opened a floating garden centre. It looked supremely out of place next to the rusting trawlers and one or two larger sail boats moored alongside it. And there was Marcy herself at the bow of the ship chatting animatedly with some well dressed people Bonnie didn't recognise. And oh hell, someone had bought her a captain's hat too. She'd probably given the local fishermen an aneurysm when they'd seen her. Well at least Zak would love it.

"AHOY THERE BONNIBEL! LOWERING THE GANGPLANK!" Marcy yelled at her the moment she got out of the car. Bonnie cringed.

"Lovely boat, very, um, nautical." Bonnie told her a little awkwardly when she came aboard.

"Isn't it great? I always wanted a roof garden and I always wanted a boat and I didn't see why they were mutually exclusive. Hey, have you met the guys I used to be in the band with?" Marcy enthused.

"Hey." Bonnie told the three people behind her friend, still rather shy about being there in the first place.

"Yo, these are Bongo, Keila and Guy." Marcy nodded to them all in turn. Bongo was a big beefy man whose hair swirled up to a point and made him look a little like he had an ice cream come on his head, in Bonnie's opinion. Keila was a mousey woman with prominent Hispanic features and Guy was a tall thin man with dirty blonde hair and dirty looking personal habits to match. His stubble looked less deliberate and more like he'd just forgotten to shave or even shower in a while. Bonnie got the feeling she'd want to wash her hands after talking to him.

"Hi, so you guys are the Scream Queens?" she asked politely.

"Used to be. We're all doing other stuff now." Guy shrugged amiably. Bongo frowned at him and shuffled off muttering to himself. "Ignore him, he's sour the rest of us didn't want to keep on flogging a dead horse. When the show's over you gotta take a final bow and put the effects pedal away, you know what I'm saying?"

"Um, yes?" Bonnie hedged, not completely certain that she did.

"Coolios. You wanna take a tour of the place?" Guy asked with what he probably thought was a charming smile.

"My boat, my tour. Besides I'm sure the poor woman just wants a drink and a sit down." Marcy frowned at him. She slid a little defensively between the two and handed Bonnie a glass of something pink, fruity and very alcoholic smelling.

"I've got the car-" Bonnie protested.

"Leave it here for the night and come get it in the morning. I'll get you a taxi home." Marcy replied breezily. It had been a long time since she'd had a night of nice cocktails and good company, Bonnie thought. And the kids were away and she was finally allowed to just relax a little. Why not?

As the party ground on Bonnie found herself chatting animatedly with Guy about the finer details of being a professional musician and it was actually fun and relaxing. She was almost beginning to unwind and have a good time. But her eyes kept sliding across the deck to where her oldest friend was laughing with a group of suits from the radio station and she had to keep pretending to have heard what the oily man was saying.

"Huh? Sorry, what was that?" Bonnie asked for the fourth or fifth time in a row, looking around and realising she'd been watching the moonlight gleaming on the jet gloss of Marcy's hair instead of paying attention.

"I said, please correct me if I'm wrong but I suspect I'm barking right up the wrong tree, aren't I?" Guy said with a wistful smile.

"I'm not sure I understand."

"You haven't taken your eyes off her all night. And I don't know if you know but she hasn't shut up about you in literally forever. Listen, Bonnie, you're a real babe, really cool and sexy. But I know when I'm trying to sell dogs to a woman who likes cats. And you strike me as a cat woman." he replied knowingly.

"Um, I what?" Bonnie asked, confused. Her eyes were back on Marceline again anyway. She hadn't even realised she'd looked over his shoulder again.

"I mean, you're totally gay for her, right?" he asked.

"Oh! I, er, I'm definitely the sparkliest homo in the pride parade. But Marcy's my friend and-"

"And you want to be more than friends with her. I've known her a long time, trust me she feels the same." he replied. Guy stretched and got to his feet. "I'm gonna go take a leak and grab another beer. You're gonna plan how to seduce my awesome former frontwoman and best friend. Don't break her heart, she'll never put it back together again."

He walked away leaving the warning ringing in her ears and Bonnie looked around, noticing for the first time that a lot of the guests had already left. In fact there was just herself, the radio stiffs and Guy left along with Marcy on the desk. How late was it? Bonnie checked her watch, it almost eleven already. Where had the time gone, she thought in confusion.

"It's been awesome but I'm afraid I'm gonna have to hit the hammock soon. Got an early start tomorrow." Marcy was telling the radio guys as she gently herded them towards the gangplank. Guy hadn't returned from his beer run and suddenly Bonnie got the feeling she'd been spectacularly out-maneuvered.

"I should get going too." she said quietly as she came up to Marcy's shoulder. "This has been really fun. Maybe give me that tour of the boat sometime?"

"I called for a taxi but they said they'd be a while. Friday night, they're really busy. We've got time for the tour now the work people have gone." Marcy replied with a smile that wasn't completely free from being a little sly. Bonnie just nodded, she knew when she was being asked to stay. So she followed the other woman below deck into what appeared to be a well appointed kitchen and dining area that lead through to an open plan lounge hung with half finished paintings.

"Did you do these?" Bonnie asked, surprised.

"I'm just messing about with them. Felt like I needed a hobby outside of music." Marcy replied a little sheepishly.

"They're beautiful." Bonnie breathed. Most were of some kind of sea creature, mermaids and whales and giant squid surrounded by waving forests of kelp or the sunken wrecks of transport ships and trawlers. There was something about those beautiful creatures of the deep next to the ugliness of modern shipping; Bonnie felt like there was some deeper meaning behind those paintings but she'd never been much of an art critic and the significance escaped her. Still they were hauntingly beautiful even if she didn't quite grasp the deeper meaning. Something about them spoke of longing and unfulfilled desires, she thought a little tipsily. A bare breasted mermaid who looked not unlike herself when she'd been younger frowned down in deep concentration, apparently trying to figure out the significance of a drowned submarine's control panel. Bonnie felt her cheeks heat a little with embarrassment but surely it must be a coincidence? There must be a lot of slim, ethereal looking redheads out there who might be painted into one of Marcy's pictures. At least there was no danger of her getting painted as she was now; she couldn't see Marcy wanting a picture of a forty year old single mother with lines around her eyes and old pregnancy stretch marks on her stomach.

"That's one of my favourites." Marceline murmured, coming up behind her almost silently and standing just a little closer than Bonnie was completely comfortable with. "I love the expression on her face. What's she thinking? Do you suppose she's contemplating our world and wondering about us as much as we're wondering about her? I call that one The Thinker Of The Deep. Super pretentious, I know. But I always sucked at naming things."

It was the alcohol that prompted Bonnie to open her mouth, she knew it was.

"She, uh, sorta looks like-"

"You, I know. It's deliberate. At first I was just drawing randomly but the curiosity in her expression when she was looking at the controls reminded me of you, you remember how you used to get in physics class? All starry eyed and deep, you were so enthralled by the whole thing. So I redrew her, drew you from memory. I got offered quite a bit of money for her before I moved back but I didn't want to sell. Didn't know if she'd be the closest I'd ever get to you again. I should have come home years ago." Marcy finished wistfully.

Bonnie turned and gaped, unsure what to say. And Marceline was closer than ever, giving her a look that Bonnie didn't want to believe was tender and longing because it was stirring all kinds of feelings in her chest. Almost like the other woman really did think she was still as beautiful as the mermaid in the painting.

"Y'know, I never stopped thinking about you, missing you." Marcy breathed. She swayed forwards a little with a soft sigh, eyes fluttering closed as she leaned closer-

Bonnie's mobile rang in her bag. She looked around, confused, suddenly very aware her brain had gone numb. Surely it was pure insanity to be standing there in Marceline's houseboat letting her gorgeous friend seduce her with those beautiful eyes and getting right back into the same kind of craziness that had so effectively flayed her emotions eighteen years previously. She turned away, ashamed, and pulled her phone out. It was Zak.

"What's wrong, honey?" Bonnie breathed down the line to him, back turned on Marceline who was watching her with some unreadable expression.

"Mum? Dad went out to the pub and I didn't wanna stay there alone. He dropped me off at home, I thought you'd be back already. I don't have a key." Zak told her plaintively.

"I'm just waiting for a taxi now, sweetie. I had a couple of drinks and I didn't want to drive." Bonnie replied, shooting a frown at Marcy who just shrugged at her like she hadn't deliberately kept the redhead's glass topped up all night. Marceline was the worst influence, she should have remembered.

"Mum, it's raining. Can you hurry?" her son whined.

"I'll be as quick as I can."

She hung up the line with a brief goodbye and another promise to get home quickly and turned to stride back across the lounge and out onto the deck again where at least the low lighting and magnificent paintings wouldn't screw with her head.

"Bon, wait! Please!" Marcy pleaded.

"I've got to go, my son's waiting." she replied with a shake of her head. "I'll be back to get my car tomorrow."

"Will you come back some other time?" Marcy asked quietly.

"Maybe. But right now I have to go." Bonnie replied in a tight voice full of regret and hurt and so much repressed desire it felt like it was slowly burning her from the inside out. But Zak was waiting for her and she'd been hurt too badly by Marceline in the past, she wasn't about to make another huge mistake again. Bonnie took one last look at her old friend standing bereft in her half unpacked lounge and turned away to the door. She'd figure it all out later when she was sober and had time to analyse how she felt. For now all that mattered was that she was a mother and she needed to go home for her son.

The door closed on her disappearing back and Marceline sank down into a chair still covered in a dust sheet, staring after the only person she'd really loved as she walked away possibly never to return. She had a sudden epiphany about how Bonnie must have felt when she'd walked out and gone pretty much straight to the airport that night eighteen years ago; wondered if the redhead knew she'd cried silently right through her flight and every night afterwards for many weeks.

...

"You're such a dweeb." Penelope told her little brother for the tenth time a week later. "I love it, thank you!"

"Whatever. Happy birthday you big nerd, go crazy, read the world." Zak told her happily. Penelope had just unwrapped a brand new e-reader and was already fiddling with it, putting in the wifi code and setting up her account. "Hey Mum? I got a little present for you, too."

"Zakky, come here you little angel." Bonnie beamed, holding out her arms to him. He shuffled across and let her hug him tightly. "You didn't have to get me anything at all."

"Birthdays are important for mothers too, it's the anniversary of one of the biggest events in your life. You should be honoured today for everything you do for us. His Holiness The Dalai Lama said so." Zak shrugged with a blush.

"Zackary Dylan McFarlane-Sugar, you are the sweetest boy I've ever met. One day you're gonna make someone very happy." Bonnie told him seriously, eyes welling a little with emotion.

" _Muuuuuum,_ stop making it weird and just open your present!" Zak wailed in embarrassment, wriggling out of her hug and pushing an envelope into her hands. Bonnie took it with a happy sniff.

"Zak, this is expensive. How are you affording this?" she gasped when she opened it to reveal two manicure vouchers for her and Penny.

"I told Dad I needed some money to treat a special lady in my life and he winked at me and told me he remembered being fifteen, whatever that's supposed to mean. It's not my fault he's too stupid to ask for more details." Zak replied with a grin.

"Zak." Bonnie scolded him, although she couldn't quite keep a small smile from creeping onto her face. "I doubt very much that His Holiness would approve of you manipulating your poor father like that."

"Good thing I'm not a Buddhist then." Zak replied, still blushing.

"You're a weirdo." Penny chimed in, looking up briefly from her e-reader.

"Right sweetheart, put that down for now. We've got a girly date." Bonnie announced with a proud smile for both of her children. Penny put the e-reader away and went to go get her bag and shoes, Zak trooped off to his room to fetch his laptop. He was spending the day and night with one of his closest friends and no doubt they'd be up until the early hours playing video games. Zak and William had been inseparable since they'd met on their first day of primary school and as much as Bonnie thought Will's father was a bit nuts for always stealing all the puddings at the school's PTA meetings Zak always seemed to come home from the Almond household with a grin on his face. At least Will encouraged him to go outside every now and then.

"Birthday girl shotgun!" Penelope yelled the moment Bonnie opened the front door, shoving her brother out of the way and racing to the car like she was still much younger. "Unlucky, dweeb! Only losers sit in the back."

Zak just shrugged, still smiling quietly to himself about something.

"Whatever. You're gonna be my slave for a week soon enough anyway. Then we'll see who's a loser. Spoiler, it'll be you." he replied cryptically.

"Do I even wanna know what you two are betting on?" Bonnie sighed as she backed the car off the drive.

"Nope." they replied in unison. She figured they were probably right, and let it lie.

It was a quick drive into the town centre and Bonnie didn't think twice about flicking the radio on as they went. She almost crashed the car in shock when she was greeted by a voice that she'd last heard begging her not to leave, murmuring that she'd never stopped missing her.

"-afternoon, and if you've just tuned in my name is Marceline Abadeer and I'm taking you on a rollercoaster of nostalgia right here on Eclipse Radio. Don't you think things from the past are almost sweeter? Like, they're perfect. They're even better because you can't reach back and ruin them afterwards, you can just remember them in all their glory and perfection. And with that in mind sit back and relax, you're about to get a dose of The Cure and Love Song, for all you heartbreak kids out there. Don't go anywhere."

Bonnie kept her eyes very carefully on the road and tried not to make any facial expressions at all. Love Song was the tune Marcy had been singing so hauntingly that day twenty five years earlier in the music rooms at school when Bonnie had stood outside and watched her through the window, it was the song Finn had kept playing on the school radio and cringingly called 'their song' for ages. And it was the first thing Marceline chose to play on her radio show, talking about the past and how perfect memories could be. Bonnie was trying hard not to read too much into that but the words seemed like they were bouncing around the inside of her head.

 _However far away  
I will always love you  
However long I stay  
I will always love you  
Whatever words I say  
I will always love you  
I will always love you_

"This song is weird." Zak complained, pulling his mother back from the distant past.

"It's The Cure. They were a weird band." Bonnie replied in as normal a voice as she could manage. "They were really popular when I was in school. My best friend absolutely adored them."

"You know nothing about the history of music, dweeb. The Cure were the band who basically invented modern Goth, Emo and Alternative. They're like, one of the most influential bands in the last thirty years." Penelope told Zak with her signature eye roll.

"Well your sister's pretty much right, Zak. They were a highly influential band at the time." Bonnie added with a relieved nod. At least that was the only part of the conversation they'd picked up on. "Look, there's William. I'll drop you off around the corner. Have a good time, sweetheart."

It was with some relief that Bonnie watched her son slouch off in the direction of the shops with weedy little Will Almond. He was a short, round boy with an unfortunate haircut; Bonnie had to hope sometimes for his own sake that Zak could be something of a corrupting influence on him. Not that Zak was terribly corrupt, but he had significantly more cool than poor little Will. The girls in his school had finally noticed that he was handsome and smart, not trying desperately to impress them like most of his peers. Of course Zak hadn't noticed the girls in his school noticing him but perhaps it would happen one day. Bonnie hadn't noticed the boys in her school either, she'd been too busy noticing Marcy and hoping that the very explicit dreams she'd started having about girls didn't mean she was, horror of horrors, a lesbian. And then college and university had happened and there was no time for dating anyway. Not until a tall, handsome boy with a soft voice and a face to match had pursued her relentlessly until she'd finally given in and gone to dinner with him. Her roommates had been so jealous, told her that Braco MacFarlane was such a catch and she was so lucky. And Bonnie had distantly supposed that she must be lucky, everyone seemed to agree that he was a dream guy. When he'd carefully and gently asked if she wanted to make the relationship physical she'd figured it had to happen sometime and lay quietly on her back thinking about theoretical physics until he rolled off her and told her how amazing she was, how talented and wonderful. She'd done nothing but lie there with her clothes off, she hadn't understood why he felt the need to compliment her for that. Bonnie had no idea if Penny had gone all the way with her most recent boyfriend but she hoped to God that when her daughter did get physical with someone it was more loving than the night she'd been conceived.

"Hello, Earth to Mum. Are you trying to be funny? Mum!"

"What? Sorry. I spaced out a little." Bonnie replied in embarrassment, shaking her thoughts free from the past again and focussing on her daughter.

"Are you gonna park the car or are we gonna drive around and around the multi-storey really slowly all day?" Penelope asked with a frown.

"Sorry honey, I wasn't paying attention. Didn't sleep so well last night." Bonnie muttered. It was true, she'd woken far earlier than usual from dreams full of lips like silk and slim, caramel coloured hands sliding around her hips. After that it was almost impossible to get back to sleep so Bonnie had just stayed up and thrown herself into cooking an extravagant birthday breakfast for her daughter.

"So are you gonna see her again?" Penelope asked a little slyly as they got out of the car.

"I'm sorry?"

"The woman from the boat party. The one who's made you walk around the place with you head in a cloud humming to yourself all week."

"I don't know what you mean." Bonnie muttered, looking away to try to maintain even a tiny shred of dignity.

"Mum, come on. It's been forever since you went on a date with anyone and suddenly you're sighing dreamily out of the window and singing in the shower like a Disney princess. I'm not stupid you know."

No, Penelope was far from stupid; in fact she was far too observant for her own good. Bonnie hung her head with a long sigh, defeated.

"It's complicated. She was my best friend at school, my first crush and my first gay kiss. She disappeared without a word before you were even born and now she's back with barely any more warning than when she left. And she's kinda like a tiger. She's hypnotically beautiful, totally unpredictable and if you try to keep her in any kind of cage she could easily turn and maul you without a second thought. She's the best friend I ever had and the only person who ever really broke my heart. I'm not sure having anything to do with her is a good idea anymore."

"Mum, you should date her. I mean, properly. It's obvious you're super into her and she's gotta be pretty stupid if she's not into you too. I'm staying at Dad's tonight anyway, you should invite her over." Penelope replied decisively.

"Are you trying to get your mother laid? Penny, that's so distasteful!" Bonnie frowned as they made their way to the manicure salon.

"Whatever, Mum. Like I don't know you're an adult who's had adult relationships before. You've been single too long and even Dad manages to pull more than you do and he's a total dilweed. So call her and invite her over, or I will."

Bonnie sighed and shook her head again, at a total loss for how to reply. Instead she pretended not to have heard and made a show of looking over the different shades of nail polish in the salon window, like there was any chance she was going to choose anything other than her usual shade of soft pink.


	3. Chapter 3

**The final chapter! I did think about chopping this is half and posting two chapters but I thought, it's all finished and ready to rock, why make people wait longer than necessary? So have an almost double length chapter just because.**

 **So far the feedback on this story has been wonderful! Please remember also to send thanks to the lovely Alquimiaverde for sending me the request for it.**

 **Content Warning: swiftly countered homophobia, historical acts of library theft, getting freaky euphemistically, feels.**

* * *

Girly dates with her Mum might be the lamest way to spend an eighteenth birthday but Penelope would quite cheerfully have told anyone who tried to make her feel bad for it to go fuck themselves sideways. She had no interest in spending her eighteenth getting wasted like a lot of her peers and going to nightclubs held little in the way of interest for her because the music she liked best wasn't the kind of repetitive dance that usually got played. She did love dancing but it got boring to constantly get grinded on by sweaty dudes when she just wanted to chill and enjoy herself. So Penny avoided most clubs in principle and was more than happy to spend the day with her mother and brother.

Ever since she could remember she'd known that her parents' relationship had been all duty and no passion, that they'd been staying together just for her sake and later for Zak. She'd only been six but she'd felt nothing but relief when her mother had gently explained that Daddy would be going to live somewhere close by and he was still going to see her every weekend and it absolutely wasn't her fault, sometimes Mummies and Daddies just didn't want to live in the same house anymore. The first time Bonnie had introduced her to a nice lady with a ring in her eyebrow and a smart suit and tie combo and explained that they were special friends had been fairly swiftly followed by the sight of her mother sniffing back angry tears and slamming the phone down. That lady hadn't come back to see them again and Bonnie didn't introduce any more of her dates to the kids; it only made Penelope even more curious about the sort of women her mother went to dinner with. Braco of course just rolled his eyes and snorted in derision if the subject of his ex-wife's homosexuality came up. The only time Penelope had ever really argued with her father was the year before when he'd been drunk after his new fiancée had left him and he'd snarled at her that Bonnie was such a frigid bitch he was surprised she had any kind of sexuality at all. Penny had stood up, calmly walked across to him and slapped him as hard as she could in the face. Nobody spoke like that about her mother. Next morning he had the makings of a magnificent black eye and had fixed her a plate of fancy French toast for breakfast like he had when she'd been little and he'd still been her hero. They hadn't spoken a word about the night before and Zak had agreed not to mention it to their Mum when they got home. Dad's place was Dad's place, it had never been home.

Penny thought about those things and lots of other stuff as she browsed the shops after their manicure and facial. Her mother had to run some errands and stop by the doctors' office for a check-up so Penelope had about an hour to wander around town on her own and spend her birthday money before they went to her favourite Thai restaurant for lunch and then to her choice of movie. She wondered what it would be like to have grown up so closeted from her sense of identity that she'd thought the only thing acceptable for her to do was marry a man she felt nothing for and have children with him simply because her parents expected it. Wondered what it would be like to be in love with the memory of someone for twenty years and still so scared to own it even when that person came back into her life and wanted to reconnect. It must be so lonely, she decided. Melancholy. If there was even the slightest chance she could push her Mum towards finally pursuing happiness she'd take it, Penny thought.

She'd wandered into the music shop thinking distantly about maybe spending all her money in one go and treating herself to the pretty semi-acoustic Telecaster guitar on sale in the window when a loud voice announced that her brother's friend Weedy Will was there and so was Donny, the obnoxious little bully from Zak's year at school.

"Hey Almond! They don't sell gaydars in here, if you're looking for other butt boys you should get one of those faggot apps on your phone. Then you can get arse fucked by as many paying customers as you need to afford a fucking haircut! Loser."

Every patron in the shop had turned to stare at the loud boy and the cowering form of William that he was shouting at. For half a second it looked like the tall, dark woman behind Donny was about to sound off at him but Penelope was faster. She marched right over to Donny and prodded him none too gently in the shoulder, using the fact she was taller to intimidate him into backing up a little and giving Will room to slide behind her for protection.

"Who the hell do you think you are, kid? What do you think gives you the right to talk to that boy like that? He's just in here minding his own business and you-"

"He's a queer-"

"-I'M STILL TALKING! Don't you dare speak over me you ignorant little prick! You're gonna turn around and leave and never come back here or so help me God I will _end you_. And if you ever come near William ever again I'll come find you when you least expect it. Shut your ignorant homophobic mouth and watch your back, Donny. Now get out."

He gaped at her in shock for a moment and suddenly the whole room burst into applause. Penny had forgotten anyone else was watching and her face burned with an embarrassed blush as Donny turned on his heel and fled. Oh God, if Mum found out she'd... probably be proud. That would be even more mortifying than getting told off like a naughty kid.

"I just came in to get my piccolo serviced." Will whispered in a voice that shook with repressed tears.

"Hey, it's ok. Donny's an arsehole, he's like that with everyone. Where's Zak?" Penny asked gently. She slid her arms around him in a hug and tried not to cringe when she felt him wipe his nose against her shoulder. Will was the worst but he made her brother happy and Penny didn't appreciate homophobic bullshit from anyone. Donny better watch his back, she thought darkly.

"He's at the video game store." Will muttered.

"Go catch up with him, I'll sort your piccolo." Penelope replied firmly.

She took the slim black case containing possibly the weediest instrument on the planet out of his sweaty hands and Will nodded and backed out of the shop too, escaping the continued stares of the other customers. With a sigh Penny took the piccolo over to the counter and signed the receipt for its service. By the time she'd finished and paid for it because Will had helpfully left without giving her any cash most everyone else had moved off and was shopping again. He'd need to come pick it up himself but she'd text Zak and make sure he came along too just in case. Penny turned back to the guitar in the window she'd been admiring but the same dark woman with the very long black hair who'd been standing behind Donny had already taken it down and was playing a familiar tune on it without any apparent effort. Her hands flew over the strings fluently and after a moment Penelope grinned to herself, recognising it. She'd just planned to hover around the guitar section for a while and maybe look at the price tag on the Telecaster if the tall woman didn't buy it first. But after a minute she frowned and then snorted with humour when she realised what had change about the music; suddenly it had become cheerful and upbeat. The woman must have heard her snort and looked around but didn't stop playing.

"If you shift the A sharp minor to a G major at the end of the chorus and play it off-beat you can turn Nirvana into a reggae." the woman told her with a charismatic smile.

"Pennyroyal Tea's one my favourites. It's weird, I never realised how similar they were." Penelope replied a little shyly.

"You'd be surprised. Once you start looking at the actual structure a lot of music is really similar, easy to switch between genres." the woman said with another easy smile.

"You're crazy good." Penny muttered a little jealously. "I've only been playing a couple of years, Mum wanted me to learn something classical."

"Mums are like that." the woman replied a little distantly. Penny thought there was perhaps a touch of wistfulness in her voice. "Hey, nice save with that kid earlier, by the way."

"He's a friend of my brother, I wasn't gonna let a prick like Donny make him cry in public." Penny muttered, embarrassed.

The woman finally stopped playing and regarded Penelope thoughtfully with a searching look.

"Have we met before? I feel like I know you from somewhere." she asked after a moment.

"Don't think so. Think I'd remember seeing you."

"You, um. You're about eighteen, right?"

"Yeah, I'm eighteen today. It's my birthday."

"Huh, born on Valentine's Day. That means conceived right around exam season, that makes sense. And you look a lot like someone I went to school with when I think about it. The hair's different but you got that same smile and the eyes, man your eyes are just like hers. Guess it's not so surprising, it's a small town and there's only one place to buy a decent guitar. Oh hell. I better go. You take care now. And happy birthday, Penelope."

She abruptly stood and hung the Telecaster back in the window before sweeping regally from the shop and leaving Penny frowning after her.

"But I didn't tell you my name." Penny murmured in confusion to the empty seat where the tall woman had been a second ago.

...

Marceline hurried away with a frown on her face, cursing herself for a fool. Bonnie would think she was stalking her, or worse stalking her kids. But every word she'd spoken was true; it was a small town and there weren't that many places she could replace a professional standard guitar damaged by incompetent house movers without having to drive miles to another specialist. They'd chatted about a lot of things over dinner and at the boat party but Bonnie had neglected to mention that her daughter played the guitar too or had her eyes and her smile and that same unexpected flare of righteous fire when confronted with injustice. There was an outside chance she was leaping to conclusions and the girl was no relation of anyone Marcy had ever met. How many eighteen year olds played the guitar and hung out in music shops? All of them, so far as Marcy could see. But if her birthday was Valentine's Day and the baby had gone full term that meant her mother would have been around about twelve weeks pregnant in the first week of August by Marceline's calculations. It had been the first week of August when she'd played her first gig supporting Pearl Jam on their European tour eighteen years and nine months ago, when she'd got on her first ever flight away from home and barely been able to see through the tears in her eyes. Late March by the time she'd come home. Penelope would have been about six weeks old the day she'd knocked on Bonnie's door and Braco had snarled at her that Bonnie didn't want to know her anymore, that she was a home wrecker and not welcome in his wife's life. She'd walked away in a state of shock; she had no idea her friend had actually gone ahead and married the idiot. And apparently Penelope had grown up and was so much like her mother at that age that it almost hurt. It was unsettling to see Bonnie's eye looking back at her from someone else's face. There was no question that the girl was her friend's daughter.

There was nothing else she needed in town and Marcy had no desire to linger and watch happy couples wandering around the place or possibly run into Bonnie or her kids again. And the thought of coming across Braco and having to resist the urge to punch his stupid marshmallow face left her cold. Marcy went home.

The boat had been something of an impulse purchase; someone had commissioned it and then promptly gone bust so the company that had made it were selling it cheap and she'd thought, well why not? It would be fun, living in a boat and stuff. Like a talking point. What she hadn't realised at the time was it was also pretty lonely. It wasn't like Marcy hadn't had plenty of time to get used to being on her own. The day she'd come home from the studio early to find Ash spread eagled naked under some coked up wannabe model had signalled the end of her attempt to ever form or maintain the sort of domestic arrangement with a partner that most people idolised. She'd thrown them both out in a haze of rage and proceeded to burn a lot of his stuff but it was all on autopilot and if she was honest some of it was old anger at Bonnie being purged along with the sting of more recent betrayal. That had been a pretty low point in her life and Marcy didn't like to think about the kinds of excesses she'd gone to trying to blot it all out; she didn't remember most of it anyway. Then 'I'm Just Your Problem' had gone unexpectedly massive and suddenly she was on TV and in magazines and the shit with Ash felt like a lifetime ago, she was back on top and had no more misery to ignore anyway. Her brush with fame hadn't lasted and really she was secretly glad because it was exhausting to be constantly in demand. Marcy had never let herself slip quite so close to rock bottom again and she'd never missed the company of someone greeting her when she came home. But now the boat felt lonely and it was the most unexpected feeling she'd ever imagined.

She tried to paint some more but the brush strokes came out more angrily than she'd intended and from fear of ruining hours of previous work Marcy put her brushes to one side and tried to focus on reading instead. But the words blurred before her eyes and she found herself wondering if Bonnie was seeing anyone that night instead of caring whether Mrs Fairfax was the mistress of Thornfield Hall or not. She didn't even know why she still had a copy of Jane Eyre except that when they'd been sixteen Bonnie had gushed about what a brilliant book it was and out of curiosity Marcy had stolen a copy from the school library. She flipped to the cover page; it still had the sign-out ticket stapled into the top corner. The last record of someone borrowing the book was twenty four years earlier and the faded ink next to the date stamp bore the student's name: 'SUGAR, B'. Marceline felt her face pull into a smile that was much sadder than amused.

Her phone rang. Marcy glanced at it and carefully put the book down, staring at the name that flashed up on the screen and trying to decide if she should answer it.

"Hello?"

"Hi, it's Bonnie."

"Yeah I figured. Caller ID. Listen, before you start yelling. I was just looking at the instruments, it's a small town and-"

"What are you babbling about? I just wanted to ask if you were busy tonight."

Marcy paused, holding her breath in surprise. What?

"No. Not busy. It's Valentines, it's a night for couples. I'm not exactly drowning in date invitations. Why?"

"Just, I wondered if you wanted to hang out again like a pair of sad, lonely old ladies without dates. Because I've been dumped by my kids for the evening and I'm not beating the suitors away with a stick either. Thought we could watch a movie? Fatal Attraction, Brokeback Mountain, Ghost, something like that?"

That was the most typical Bonnie thing Marceline had heard in years.

"Those films all suck. That's probably the most depressing list of Valentine's night films ever compiled. Were you gonna sit at home watching sad movies on your own on Valentines?"

"No, I was gonna sit and watch sad movies with you. But if you don't want to-"

"Text me your address and I'll throw on a jacket and get my keys."

...

There was a knock on the door and Bonnie dropped her glass in sudden panic. She'd only called Marceline because Penelope had gotten hold of her phone and threatened to call on her behalf if she didn't. And now she felt like a total moron because her shirt was soaked with half a glass of wine and it was just fucking _typical-_

There was another knock at the door and Bonnie shook the self-hatred free from her thoughts, storing it away for later, before going to answer. Maybe it would just be Zak forgetting his key again or one of her neighbours or something. She opened the door and no, it was Marceline. The taller woman was dressed in a black military style jacket with silver buttons that clung perfectly to every curve of her frame and made Bonnie feel a little light headed from what she sincerely hoped was not still silent attraction.

"Hey." Marcy said quietly. "I felt bad for you getting dumped by your womb nuggets tonight so I got you these."

She pulled out a bouquet of roses from behind her back; fancy looking dark red ones of the kind that were never ever bought for someone who was just a good friend. Bonnie gaped.

"These were all the shops had right now, what with it being Gross Happy Couples Day. Anyway I brought some chocolates too, thought we might as well go all the way and do the cliché girls' night in." Marcy continued. Was it just Bonnie's imagination or was she blushing slightly? It was difficult to tell with the dark night and the bronze of her skin tone. "You letting me in or are we watching a film on your doorstep?"

Bonnie flushed too and stood to one side, motioning for her friend to come inside but not quite trusting herself to open her mouth and speak just yet.

"I gotta change my shirt, had a spill." she murmured finally. "You gave me a fright when you knocked. Just, um, the lounge is through there; go help yourself to a drink if you want."

Marcy watched in slight confusion as Bonnie jogged up the staircase behind the door and disappeared into what must be her bedroom. She shrugged to herself and went through to the small lounge, looking around in interest at the collection of photos on the walls and the cozy artefacts of a family home. There were plenty of photos of Penelope and Zak when they were very young so it looked like Marcy had been right about the girl in the music shop after all. And next to them were Bonnie's parents from back in the day; Mrs Sugar had always been so fond of the quiet, dark skinned girl who'd followed her daughter around like a lost puppy and received parental affection with the kind of stunned surprise that spoke volumes about what Hunson had been like as a father.

Then she spotted it. Right there half hidden amongst all the other photographs. A small photo booth thumbnail tacked into the corner of one of the numerous pictures of the kids showed an eighteen year old Bonnie and Marcy crammed together into the booth, arms around each other due to the small space and grinning into the camera without a care in the world. On the back in her own slanted handwriting Marceline knew would be the word 'best'. It matched the almost identical thumbnail Marceline herself had kept in the small box of treasured memories she'd begun collecting when she was small and her mother had first gotten sick. On Marcy's photo the word scrawled on the back was 'friends'. There was a third and final photo, one that had been put into the college time-capsule to be opened in a hundred years' time. And on the back of that one was written the word 'forever'.

"That was Zak's first day of nursery. You were on TV that night; I got a shock when I saw you because you looked like you hadn't aged a day. I remember thinking you must secretly be a vampire. Wish I'd had someone to joke about it with."

Marceline whipped around and Bonnie smiled at her a little forlornly from the doorway. She must have thought Marcy was looking at the picture of the kids.

"He's got your hair." was all she could think to say.

"Yeah. Braco swore there weren't any redheads on his side of the family. I think I knew that was the beginning of the end, when he accused me of having an affair with someone because Zak had red hair." Bonnie replied with a slightly uncomfortable shrug.

"And did you?"

"No. Are you insane? I didn't even enjoy being sexual with my husband, what makes you think I'd ever seek comfort from another man?"

Eighteen years and they couldn't quite keep back from finishing the row that had led to their brief kiss. Marcy shook her head, ancient anger beginning to flow from wounds she thought were long since healed.

"You chose him to slut around with, why not another guy? Why couldn't you have been fucking the entire world behind his stupid back?"

"Excuse me? You think losing my virginity to the guy I'd been steadily dating for five months when I was twenty two qualifies as being a slut? You think I did it because I _enjoyed_ it? I've never been into men! And you know it! And I'm pretty sure you knew it then too!" Bonnie shot back angrily.

"But you still fucked him! You lay down for him and you let him finish inside and you got pregnant and then you fucking _did it again_!"

If she'd stopped to think about it Marcy might have wondered where all those feelings were coming from, if the shops had really only had roses or if she'd just not wanted to buy Bonnie any substandard flowers, why she'd felt like her heart had stopped dead in her chest when she'd seen a familiar sweep of ginger hair in front of her that night a few weeks before in their old school library. But she didn't, she was too busy venting rage that had been silently swelling for eighteen long years.

"It's like you don't even know that the word 'denial' means! Not everyone was so comfortable and at ease embracing their sexuality as you coming out with 'oh I'm casually bisexual' aged fourteen. I didn't know I was gay! And he was so persistent; I didn't know how to tell him I wasn't interested! So yes, I made the same mistake a lot of young women do and I let my boyfriend do what he wanted because I was sick of his whiny begging and I was stressed with uni and I thought 'maybe if I start having sex with him I won't feel like everything's broken in my emotions'! And you couldn't deal with the fact I made a mistake and you fucking _left me-_ "

"Oh like I was your fucking girlfriend or something? Like you cared about my feelings or gave half a crap that I was desperately in love with you? Eighteen years later and I'm still following you around hoping you'll notice me! I came back to _find you_ , see if I could maybe scrape up the courage to tell you how I felt! And-"

Bonnie wasn't listening. Hadn't been listening since the words 'desperately in love' had left the lips she'd been dreaming about now for more than two decades. It was just like that night at reunion when she'd been unable to keep her arms from pulling the other woman into a close embrace. Bonnie crossed the room in three strides, pushed Marceline none too gently onto the sofa and before another word could come out of her mouth their lips were crashing almost violently together in a deep kiss that had been simmering for eighteen years. And distantly Bonnie felt herself finally understand why they used fireworks going off as a visual euphemism in movies and stuff because it felt like her entire body was fizzing with a kind of explosive heat that she'd never realised was actually literal before.

"I wanted you so badly it was all I could think about." Bonnie murmured breathlessly when she finally pulled back a little. "I thought I was sick, thought there was something wrong with me for dreaming about doing all manner of smut with you. Believed all the bullshit people told me about how to be 'normal' and 'healthy'; that getting a boyfriend and letting him use me like that would fix me. And then you hated me for getting pregnant to him but not half as much as I hated myself. I never blamed you for leaving. And I know you couldn't have stayed, not once I had Penny. Marcy, I screwed everything up and I still don't know how to fix it."

It was like poison draining from an old wound; she hadn't known how much lighter and freer she'd feel just for letting those words spill out past her lips. And Marcy was staring up at her with those same amazing eyes that she'd loved since the first time she'd seen them. A warm hand the colour of caramel cupped her cheek and Marceline drew her gently forwards again and murmured against her lips.

"Just, this. This is what I've wanted for so long too. Every word of every song was about you. Every night I lay next to some anonymous music business floozy I'd close my eyes and imagine it was you instead. I should have stayed, we could have raised Penny together and been a family. But I didn't. I ran away because I was too scared to tell you how I felt or that you'd broken my heart by getting pregnant. Bon, I swear I never knew you were struggling so much with your sexuality or that you were scared to tell me too. I never meant to hurt you."

Marcy's words from her radio show the week before came back to Bonnie's mind and it was all she should think to reply with.

"It's in the past. We can't reach back and change it now, we can only remember it in all its glory. And that kiss before you left, that was glorious. Don't leave this time."

"You're asking me to stay? Like, uh, all night?" Marcy asked in surprise. It didn't escape Bonnie's notice that the other woman's muscles tightened a little underneath her where their bodies were still pressed together.

"Twenty five years of wanting, eighteen years of foreplay. I think we can safely say this is the slowest burning romance ever. Yes. If you want to, please stay the night with me." Bonnie replied softly before she leaned back in for another kiss. This time it was slow, soft, unhurried. She took her time to fully explore the silken sweetness of lips she'd been aching for and the warmth of beautiful bronzed skin beneath her hands. Marcy was staying this time, staying all night with her and after that who knew how long. She couldn't quite believe it wasn't an unusually vivid dream but even if it was she was going to savour every microsecond of it.

When Marcy's smooth, warm hands slid just a little tentatively against the edge of her shirt Bonnie nodded shyly and let the other woman gently slip it up and over her head, shivering a bit as the cold air hit exposed skin.

"You ok?" Marceline asked huskily.

"Yeah. Little cold, is all. Look, I'm a bit sensitive about how I look, y'know? I'm not quite the shape I was when I was eighteen. Just, I don't know what you were expecting but-"

Marcy cut her off with a gentle kiss before slipping out of her own shirt and stretching out next to Bonnie, raking her eyes across the exposed skin of their bodies next to each other.

"You're absolutely beautiful, don't ever worry that I think otherwise. I'm in love with you. I have been for years. Don't let anyone else's opinions of what a beautiful body should be ruin this. I want _you_ , exactly how you are. To me, you are perfect."

This time Bonnie wasn't think about anything but Marcy, wasn't feeling anything but the mesmerizing heat of their bodies joining and the overwhelming emotions of finally being free and open with the woman she'd loved for years. Maybe they were rushing it, maybe they'd waited so long that reality would never be able to match the fantasies in their heads. But there were Marcy's hands tangling in her hair and the tang of need on her lips and Bonnie was sure no fantasy she'd ever had was even half so amazing as the feeling of Marceline's body tightening against her and hearing her name flowing in a long wavering moan from silken lips still soft from her own moment of deep oblivion. When she slid back into those warm arms and lay her head on Marcy's chest Bonnie thought she might never have heard anything so enchanting as the frantic thump of her lover's heart beginning to relax back to a normal rhythm. She felt rather than heard when Marcy spoke to her in a soft, low voice.

"I'd have waited a thousand years for you if you needed me to. I never stopped loving you."

"I never stopped loving you either. I don't know how to begin apologizing for how everything happened." Bonnie replied with a sigh.

"Babe, you have nothing to apologise for. It's ancient history. I don't need to be the first person you loved so long as I can be the last."

Bonnie paused, letting that sink into her mind. She'd been in love with Marceline since she'd been eleven years old. And she honestly didn't think she'd know how to love anyone else, not the way she loved Marcy. Probably it wasn't healthy but that was just how it was. She'd just have to accept that Marceline was the love of her life and find the courage to tell her so. Bonnie sucked in a steadying breath.

"You're both."

Marcy stiffened in surprise, hands stilling from where she'd been idly stroking Bonnie's back. Her mind raced. She'd known she'd been important to Bonnie in the past but maybe she'd never known how far back it stretched. Had the redhead really spent the whole of their acquaintance just waiting for Marcy to notice her?

"I, uh... seriously?"

"Since the first day of high school. You got lost trying to find the French classroom and I helped you in Math when you didn't have a calculator. I went home and told my mother I'd met the prettiest girl in the world that day. I've been crazy about you ever since." Bonnie confessed with a self conscious smile.

"I think it took longer for me. I don't think I was really properly in love with you until the end of that first week. Bon? Promise me you'll talk to me next time something's bothering you?"

"If you promise not to disappear without a word."

"Deal. You still wanna watch that movie?"

"Not even a tiny bit. Come up to bed with me?"

By the time they'd finished talking about everything and nothing, finished exploring each other and themselves and how they fit together as a couple it was almost sunrise. Bonnie fell asleep with Marceline's head cradled lovingly on her chest and a the oddly wonderful feeling that a wound she'd been carrying in her heart for so long that she'd stopped noticing how it ached was finally beginning to heal.

...

It was the sound of the dishwasher slamming closed downstairs in the kitchen that brought Bonnie's eyes flying open in abrupt panic the next morning. But it was the sight of the empty space in the bed next to her and the conspicuous lack of anyone's clothes but her own folded on the chair by her dresser that sustained the panic, deepened it into fear and cold churning dread. Marceline wasn't there; she must have crept out while Bonnie slept. And Penelope was home and thumping around in the kitchen, Bonnie had lost count of the number of times she'd nagged her daughter not to slam the dishwasher door to make sure it was closed. Growing more distressed by the second Bonnie slid out of bed and grabbed a night robe, wrapping it tightly around herself like hiding her nudity could undo what must have been the biggest mistake of her life last night. She'd begged Marcy to stay and still woken alone. Marcy had begged her to stay that night at the boat party and she'd left because Zak had needed her. The part of her mind that often berated her in her mother's voice pointed out that it was probably revenge. She'd walked out on Marcy and now Marcy had done exactly the same back to her and there was nobody but herself to blame, like usual. There'd been many moments in her life when Bonnie had hated herself but that was the most sudden and intense, made worse by her complete lack of any emotional barriers when she'd woken so suddenly.

But as she crept shamefully down the stairs Bonnie frowned and paused, listening intently. There was cheerful whistling filling the house and Penelope didn't whistle. There were still unfamiliar red boots in the hall next to her own sensible black work shoes and Zak's abused trainers. She glanced out of the window; the same dark sleek car that had been parked at the harbour next to Marceline's boat was sitting innocently outside. And then she heard voices.

"...think Dad's gonna have an aneurism when he meets you. And I can't promise I won't laugh. He deserves it."

"You know, there was a time when I'd have said the same about my Dad. But let me give you a bit of advice I learned the hard way, Penny. Dads don't last forever. And as much as they can be totally annoying arseholes they also love you like you can't imagine. Mums too. You won't remember being a newborn but in their heads one of the most defining moments in their entire existence is the day the first met you. They stop being the most important thing in their own lives, you're now their reason for existing. Children are their parents' first priority no matter how grown up they get; that's completely natural. And I'm not saying Braco isn't an unpleasant prick because it would take a full brain transplant to make him anything else but he's the only father you've got and trust me, he loves you and Zak more than he loves anything or anyone else in the world. You can respect how much he loves you even if you can't find anything in common with him, can't you?"

Bonnie had never heard it put so perfectly before, had never realised Marcy could understand so perfectly that as much as Bonnie loved her the kids would always be her first priority. She sank down onto the bottom of the stairs and listened intently at the half open kitchen door, mouth hanging halfway open in surprise. Marceline was still there. Marceline was in her kitchen chatting with her daughter like they'd known each other for years. Marceline was a better parent to Penelope in the last minute than Braco had been in the last decade

"Guess you're right." she heard Penny sigh. "You should have seen him when I was twelve and I broke my leg. He was screaming for help and panicking and crying, I'd never seen Dad cry before. I guess it was because he loves me. He's still gonna be madder than a wet cat when he finds out about you and Mum though."

"Well he'll just have to get over it. It's not a secret that I love her. I'm not going anywhere this time, not unless Bonnie tells me to leave. Sorry kid, looks like you're stuck with me step-mothering you. Hey where do you guys keep the maple syrup? I bet your Mum still likes her pancakes drowned."

"Whatever, you're cool. It's in the cupboard over the washing machine. Hey y'know, Zak totally has to be my slave for a week now anyway. He bet Mum wouldn't have a date for Valentine's and I think the first thing I'm gonna make him do is run after me with a towel and water bottle when I go for a jog. Zak hates going outside, it'll be hilarious."

That solved the mystery of what the bet had been about, anyway. Bonnie resolved to have a word with her children about the lack of appropriateness of betting on their mother's sex life once her girlfriend wasn't around. _Girlfriend_. She liked the way the thought felt in her head. Marceline was her girlfriend. Bonnie finally allowed a smile to slide onto her face, stood from the stairs and pushed the door open to go see if her two favourite women in the world needed any help drowning her pancakes.


End file.
